I'm not really one to write journals to be honest and some one once said it's good to get things written down and this is about as close as i will get to it! lol

I've been thinking a lot about what kind of a person i am and how that may effect love. I'm vain and shallow and a very materialistic person, and i know that. But it annoys me that people feel the need to constantly remind me, especially my friends and family.

I am aware that i place a lot of emphasis on how someone looks, i am aware that i can be too critical of others, i am aware that i spend too much on materialistic things.......i am aware of the kind of person i am.

That's the message i try to get across, yet people never seem to get it.

This leads me to think that this may be the reason i am single...still!

My last relationship was great. He was funny, intelligent, a great conversationalist, ever so kind and in a band no less! "You say last...it ended?" i hear you cry...well indeed it did....i had to break it off. "For why?" i hear you say next...well...he was not good looking enough.

After all the criticism i get of my friends and family i decided to focus on personality rather then looks....and it didn't work.....it's not who i am. His fashion sense was more shabby chic then runway or even high street, his hair was unkept and i wasn't physically attracted to him.

It is hard to find the right person, smart, good looking, fashionable, funny, caring and romantic.

Maybe i'm too picky....maybe I'm wanting that perfect guy.....that guy who just doesn't seem to exist.